london life?

london seems such a scary place right now.

everything i can think of there needs my dealing with, and honestly i don't really feel like it. finishing my master's degree is way up there on the list of things i'd prefer to do really soon. however, i'd enjoy feeling some sort of motivation in that field. i can't get fired about it right now, and everybody keeps repeating the mantra of "it takes time/it will take time/time will heal all", and honestly - that's all good and well and i do believe in it. i just don't feel that i have the time! but. what's the rush? it's not like a have a plan for my future (maybe i should have) or that i know exactly what i want to do (sure would be nice though..). i'm totally going with the flow these days, bobbing about in a sea of emotions and feelings of confusions, aspirations, expectations, desires... taking my time.

i'll be going back to london in a couple of days, back to face the music. maybe it's good, maybe i'm just pushing things ahead of me, but on the other hand, then what's up with the "time"-mantra? my big dilemma right now is whether to pull myself together or to take an even longer time-out. i would just prefer that when i do pull myself together, it'll be to start on something i really want to do, not just to finish my degree, as in getting it over with.

reflections: 2

Being back in the family home brings forth a great deal of emotional dealings.

My brother is graduating and is looking a lot older than my mental image of him as an annoying six-year old brat (!), and my parents are working on selling the house that we moved in to just prior to his birth; a house that has been my sanctuary for nearly 20 years. Here's a thought: Can their new home, in the mild, beautiful and calm countryside of the north of Sjælland, become as much a home and a base for me as this one is now? I'm hoping the cliché "home is where the heart is" will prove true. The pictures look lovely, totally rural idyll, with a thatched roof and halftimbered structure. I hope to go see the new house in the weekend, after the wedding on Saturday.

So many things are happening now. I have taken an opportunity to stop and reflect on what is important. My family, friends, "career", interests long neglected.... I am at a crossroads right now, without knowing what sort of roads I am facing. It is clear to me, however, that my choice of career needs a thorough thinking through. Perhaps it is time to pursue what I am good at, enhancing my strong points so I can actually have some authority in a field instead of being moderately good at a lot of things.

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