Monday, February 23, 2009
Saturday, February 14, 2009
V-day
Schmee-day.
I'm so happy for you all. Really, I am.
And I love you guys too, but what's the point in making me tell you on a previously specified day? And loosen up a bit too, there are ways of loving that don't include red/pink cellophane, flowers, and heart-shaped boxes with chocolates. There are, aren't there...?
If someone were to give me something in the shape of a heart I'm fairly sure I wouldn't know what to do with it, let alone how to reciprocate.
I'm so happy for you all. Really, I am.
And I love you guys too, but what's the point in making me tell you on a previously specified day? And loosen up a bit too, there are ways of loving that don't include red/pink cellophane, flowers, and heart-shaped boxes with chocolates. There are, aren't there...?
If someone were to give me something in the shape of a heart I'm fairly sure I wouldn't know what to do with it, let alone how to reciprocate.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Story time
**
A couple of years ago I went to an eerie ghost town, somewhere in the winterland of Death Valley in California. It was incredibly foggy when I was there, and the thick, gray fog obscured visibility more than a couple of meters ahead. Crunchy gravel beneath my feet, ramshackle buildings with deteriorating weatherboard cladding, and a few subtle but distinct indications that people had actually lived there set the mood to pensive, heavy, loaded. The sensation of lingering remnants of activity stopped short was multiplied by the way sound failed to travel through the fog, almost as though water in the air hampered the sounds we made, and rendered us alone, singular individuals, in an eerie space of memories, abandon and erronious directions. There was once life in this place - intense, hard, gritty life - and an awareness of yesteryear hung in the damp air. As I intruded this space of the past, tiny pieces of broken glass were pushed deeper into the ground under my feet. Alone in a solitary space, I heard muffled sounds from others, here too to seek the thrill of long past desertion and deterioration. Now and again the muffled cones of headlights appeared as phantasms, just beyond my capacity to see.
**
She walked down the street, wrapped in a haze of thoughts obscuring her to the surroundings. Or at least so she hoped. In fact her eyes, downcast and fleetingly seeking a way, attracted attention. They had a deep expression, intense, begging for acknowledgment, convoluted in a dark openness that hurt her as much as the next. The pale skin of her face accommodated this sharpness. She pulled the brim of her hat down to provide as much cover as possible to her face and breathed in the cold air piercing her lungs. Her presence was at once a meek shadow seeking to repel glances to achieve anonymity, and a strong expression of hope, challenging with dignity and perhaps even self-importance others on her way.
What had happened to the hopes she held? All her dreams? Around her people hurried from one place to the next, in a never ending series of places to go and things to do, whilst she seemed to have stopped in her tracks.
She felt the movement of all around her and floated in nothingness.
**
A couple of years ago I went to an eerie ghost town, somewhere in the winterland of Death Valley in California. It was incredibly foggy when I was there, and the thick, gray fog obscured visibility more than a couple of meters ahead. Crunchy gravel beneath my feet, ramshackle buildings with deteriorating weatherboard cladding, and a few subtle but distinct indications that people had actually lived there set the mood to pensive, heavy, loaded. The sensation of lingering remnants of activity stopped short was multiplied by the way sound failed to travel through the fog, almost as though water in the air hampered the sounds we made, and rendered us alone, singular individuals, in an eerie space of memories, abandon and erronious directions. There was once life in this place - intense, hard, gritty life - and an awareness of yesteryear hung in the damp air. As I intruded this space of the past, tiny pieces of broken glass were pushed deeper into the ground under my feet. Alone in a solitary space, I heard muffled sounds from others, here too to seek the thrill of long past desertion and deterioration. Now and again the muffled cones of headlights appeared as phantasms, just beyond my capacity to see.
**
She walked down the street, wrapped in a haze of thoughts obscuring her to the surroundings. Or at least so she hoped. In fact her eyes, downcast and fleetingly seeking a way, attracted attention. They had a deep expression, intense, begging for acknowledgment, convoluted in a dark openness that hurt her as much as the next. The pale skin of her face accommodated this sharpness. She pulled the brim of her hat down to provide as much cover as possible to her face and breathed in the cold air piercing her lungs. Her presence was at once a meek shadow seeking to repel glances to achieve anonymity, and a strong expression of hope, challenging with dignity and perhaps even self-importance others on her way.
What had happened to the hopes she held? All her dreams? Around her people hurried from one place to the next, in a never ending series of places to go and things to do, whilst she seemed to have stopped in her tracks.
She felt the movement of all around her and floated in nothingness.
**
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
I ♥ the internet
..where else could I find an amazingly interesting article on the creation of a mega-church, linked to a background story of the exurbs developing around major American cities?
..or the stories of 24 widely different urban areas abandoned for equally varied reasons (including flooding, an eternal subterranean fire, desertion?).
..or pictures that jog my memory?
**
"Monday, Monday, Tuesday, Tuesday, three more days till Friday... that's the way I waste my time, waiting for some time that's mine.."
Imagine if all time could be yours!
Maybe if you could enjoy all your time, you perhaps wouldn't need it to 'be yours'.
..or the stories of 24 widely different urban areas abandoned for equally varied reasons (including flooding, an eternal subterranean fire, desertion?).
..or pictures that jog my memory?
**
"Monday, Monday, Tuesday, Tuesday, three more days till Friday... that's the way I waste my time, waiting for some time that's mine.."
Imagine if all time could be yours!
Maybe if you could enjoy all your time, you perhaps wouldn't need it to 'be yours'.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
The time that's mine
So, this new band I've come across is rocking my boat. Here's a little tune, that resonates with me... what's really important. The light at the end of the tunnel, or rather, The time that's mine by The Miserable Rich:
"Monday, Monday, Tuesday, Tuesday, three more days till Friday... that's the way I waste my time, waiting for some time that's mine.."
Imagine if all time could be yours!
"Monday, Monday, Tuesday, Tuesday, three more days till Friday... that's the way I waste my time, waiting for some time that's mine.."
Imagine if all time could be yours!
Sunday, January 25, 2009
The (un-)holy land
The situation in Israel/Palestine/Gaza has caused a lot of discussion and uproar lately. I have tried to keep up to date with what’s going on, but somehow I have struggled to become ‘involved’. So, following the situation only superficially I came across an (in my opinion) well balanced essay in a Danish paper (for which the author was actually reprimanded for having misused the trust vested in him as a public TV presenter). It expressed some of the thoughts I myself have had about the conflict between Israelis and Palestinians. My translations throughout:
“The common European discourse is often as follows: The Palestinians are being humiliated and scorned, it is natural that they will use violence, whereas jews, who themselves have been so hardly hit, should know better. So, the message to the Jewish population: You, who have yourselves experienced pogroms, extermination camps and expulsion, or are descendants of .. the victims of the Holocaust, You must simply learn to control yourselves when someone again is trying to kill you!”
“The attacks on Gaza will... presumably only make evil worse, but a country under constant attack must and should act, even though the approach is disturbing for nice people, who don’t know how terror influences a society.
Many European commentators think that it is a classic imperialistic situation where one party is right and the other party is the evil aggressor. In military terms Israel is of course more powerful than the Palestinians but any society, powerful or not, which is hit by terror must use means to protect itself that it would not otherwise accept.”
He quotes the Palestinian journalist Zaki Chehab’s book ’Inside Hamas’ (2007):
“Chehab ... shows how the Hamas continues to stand by their charter from 1988, which says that the fight is not over till the green flag of Islam is raised above all of the historical Palestine from the Dead Sea to the Mediterranean Sea.
A representative of the Hamas is quoted: “ You will find no-one in Hamas who will acknowledge Israel’s right to exist. If you hear anything else, you can be sure it is a lie”. This is Israel’s enemy right now.”
The inherent historical elements of this tale are crucial factors in the developments along the way, and will continue to influence the proceedings that take place.
I have failed to become emotionally involved in this until yesterday. I attended a seminar at UCL, Uneven Geographies, and it really got me thinking. The seminar dealt with contested spaces, uneven geographies, and the first 2/3 that I sat in on dealt with Belgrade during the Jugoslavian war, and with Palestine.
Obviously, when the seminar was planned and speakers invited the situation in Gaza was different than it is now. The current world-wide focus on Gaza right now meant that the discussion naturally gravitated towards current and historical occurrences in the Middle East.
What I particularly liked about the seminar was the fact that people were balanced in their observations. Generally speaking the news does not exactly get conveyed in a balanced manner, and academic discourse on a subject that is so highly publicized at the moment was a welcome, if labor-some and tiring.
Particularly Ms Adania Shabil, a Palestinian writer, was very powerful.
The speakers talked about contested spaces, the way in which spaces are scarred and how places remember conflict. They discussed the implications of space in conflicted situations, the aesthetics of war and the effect of imagery (symbolic and actual) on the conflict and about the political and social implications of being in a state of ‘refugeeism’ (is that a word?). They spoke of the representation of free (or not) movement in literature, of how the contestation of a space creates this space in the mind of the world.
The question of the dichotomy between Jews and Arabs as the basis of this situation was softened by comments that ‘this is not what it’s about, it’s about the people living these moments’. And I really agree with the sentiment that is at the core of this - a pure belief that we as people should behave and do to others as we wish they do to us, it’s in a sense a case of basic human compassion. However, the history of these religions, places and peoples make the ‘now’ that we live in more complex.
The places occupied by Palestinians were historically - way back - the land of Jews. But at other points in time, they were Palestine. The peoples that occupy either side of the fence now have historical claims to and feelings for the land.
The fact that the two religions that these peoples represent inherently dislike each other (one has a warning of the other in their holy book) does not make it simpler. The fact that the United Arab Emirates continues to aid the reconstruction of the Palestinian villages and settlements certainly does not keep the issue at hand clear of religion or preconceived notions of opposition and rights.
As the land lay now, figuratively and literally, I do not see an end to the oppression and suffering endured by the Palestinians, nor do I see the terror they employ ending. Nor a peace or a surrender of land by either side, nor the admission that the other deserves the right to exist.
When you are struck on the chords of your beliefs, be they social, political, societal, religious, it is hard to give.
The historical prosecution of Jews may be something considered a part of history (or for some, not), but it will always remain in the self-image of people who identify themselves with Jews, be it in a religious, social, cultural or political manner. If the Jews don’t remember and act accordingly to the situations they themselves have been in, they might very well be creating the same self-image in Palestinians for the future.
I leave you with some pictures from a large Danish newspaper recorded during the first week after the end of the recent war actions in Gaza. For those not literate in Danish, I trust the pictures will speak for themselves. Click the picture for more.
“The common European discourse is often as follows: The Palestinians are being humiliated and scorned, it is natural that they will use violence, whereas jews, who themselves have been so hardly hit, should know better. So, the message to the Jewish population: You, who have yourselves experienced pogroms, extermination camps and expulsion, or are descendants of .. the victims of the Holocaust, You must simply learn to control yourselves when someone again is trying to kill you!”
“The attacks on Gaza will... presumably only make evil worse, but a country under constant attack must and should act, even though the approach is disturbing for nice people, who don’t know how terror influences a society.
Many European commentators think that it is a classic imperialistic situation where one party is right and the other party is the evil aggressor. In military terms Israel is of course more powerful than the Palestinians but any society, powerful or not, which is hit by terror must use means to protect itself that it would not otherwise accept.”
He quotes the Palestinian journalist Zaki Chehab’s book ’Inside Hamas’ (2007):
“Chehab ... shows how the Hamas continues to stand by their charter from 1988, which says that the fight is not over till the green flag of Islam is raised above all of the historical Palestine from the Dead Sea to the Mediterranean Sea.
A representative of the Hamas is quoted: “ You will find no-one in Hamas who will acknowledge Israel’s right to exist. If you hear anything else, you can be sure it is a lie”. This is Israel’s enemy right now.”
The inherent historical elements of this tale are crucial factors in the developments along the way, and will continue to influence the proceedings that take place.
I have failed to become emotionally involved in this until yesterday. I attended a seminar at UCL, Uneven Geographies, and it really got me thinking. The seminar dealt with contested spaces, uneven geographies, and the first 2/3 that I sat in on dealt with Belgrade during the Jugoslavian war, and with Palestine.
Obviously, when the seminar was planned and speakers invited the situation in Gaza was different than it is now. The current world-wide focus on Gaza right now meant that the discussion naturally gravitated towards current and historical occurrences in the Middle East.
What I particularly liked about the seminar was the fact that people were balanced in their observations. Generally speaking the news does not exactly get conveyed in a balanced manner, and academic discourse on a subject that is so highly publicized at the moment was a welcome, if labor-some and tiring.
Particularly Ms Adania Shabil, a Palestinian writer, was very powerful.
The speakers talked about contested spaces, the way in which spaces are scarred and how places remember conflict. They discussed the implications of space in conflicted situations, the aesthetics of war and the effect of imagery (symbolic and actual) on the conflict and about the political and social implications of being in a state of ‘refugeeism’ (is that a word?). They spoke of the representation of free (or not) movement in literature, of how the contestation of a space creates this space in the mind of the world.
The question of the dichotomy between Jews and Arabs as the basis of this situation was softened by comments that ‘this is not what it’s about, it’s about the people living these moments’. And I really agree with the sentiment that is at the core of this - a pure belief that we as people should behave and do to others as we wish they do to us, it’s in a sense a case of basic human compassion. However, the history of these religions, places and peoples make the ‘now’ that we live in more complex.
The places occupied by Palestinians were historically - way back - the land of Jews. But at other points in time, they were Palestine. The peoples that occupy either side of the fence now have historical claims to and feelings for the land.
The fact that the two religions that these peoples represent inherently dislike each other (one has a warning of the other in their holy book) does not make it simpler. The fact that the United Arab Emirates continues to aid the reconstruction of the Palestinian villages and settlements certainly does not keep the issue at hand clear of religion or preconceived notions of opposition and rights.
As the land lay now, figuratively and literally, I do not see an end to the oppression and suffering endured by the Palestinians, nor do I see the terror they employ ending. Nor a peace or a surrender of land by either side, nor the admission that the other deserves the right to exist.
When you are struck on the chords of your beliefs, be they social, political, societal, religious, it is hard to give.
The historical prosecution of Jews may be something considered a part of history (or for some, not), but it will always remain in the self-image of people who identify themselves with Jews, be it in a religious, social, cultural or political manner. If the Jews don’t remember and act accordingly to the situations they themselves have been in, they might very well be creating the same self-image in Palestinians for the future.
I leave you with some pictures from a large Danish newspaper recorded during the first week after the end of the recent war actions in Gaza. For those not literate in Danish, I trust the pictures will speak for themselves. Click the picture for more.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Meh.
Hm. Didn't break the rules. Am still holding on to a slimmer and slimmer hope of some sort of indication that I'm not entirely off in my evaluation of the situation.
The mental process leading to this is not entirely as linear as I would like to convey.
Crap.
The mental process leading to this is not entirely as linear as I would like to convey.
Crap.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Rules
I've really tried to not follow the rules lately, to do what I really feel like instead of simply complying to norms.
And here I am, following 'the rules' because I'm guessing that that's what's expected of me. And lo and behold - they are not being 'followed back'. What rubbish. Maybe it's time for me to break them again, just to make a point. If nothing's new by tomorrow I will.
*
Did yoga and meditation again this morning, which was good. I'm finding the yoga bit easiest - focusing my mind is extremely difficult. There are SO many things to think about all the time.
And here I am, following 'the rules' because I'm guessing that that's what's expected of me. And lo and behold - they are not being 'followed back'. What rubbish. Maybe it's time for me to break them again, just to make a point. If nothing's new by tomorrow I will.
*
Did yoga and meditation again this morning, which was good. I'm finding the yoga bit easiest - focusing my mind is extremely difficult. There are SO many things to think about all the time.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Step 1.
Today I tried both meditating and yoga for the first time, all in the privacy of my own room..
I downloaded a couple of podcasts on the subject and selected some that sounded and looked to be of a fairly reasonable quality.
The yoga was YOGamazing (pretty darned corny name!), and I selected the episode with exercises for runners. It was fairly easy to do, even in the limited space of my bedroom, and I could certainly feel everything stretch. I've downloaded a couple more and will give them a shot. Only thing I'm concerned about is that I'm not doing the stretches right.. I'm thinking that maybe, at least initially, I should do some supplementary classes just to get the poses right. Don't want to do any harm in all my eagerness.
The meditation was from some Australian meditation society, and apart from the tinny voice, I had nothing to fault them for either. There's a whole series of sessions, so I'll be working my way through them, one a day hopefully.
Now I just need to figure out a good order for my yoga, meditation and running! Running first, then the stretches and then clearing the mind?
I downloaded a couple of podcasts on the subject and selected some that sounded and looked to be of a fairly reasonable quality.
The yoga was YOGamazing (pretty darned corny name!), and I selected the episode with exercises for runners. It was fairly easy to do, even in the limited space of my bedroom, and I could certainly feel everything stretch. I've downloaded a couple more and will give them a shot. Only thing I'm concerned about is that I'm not doing the stretches right.. I'm thinking that maybe, at least initially, I should do some supplementary classes just to get the poses right. Don't want to do any harm in all my eagerness.
The meditation was from some Australian meditation society, and apart from the tinny voice, I had nothing to fault them for either. There's a whole series of sessions, so I'll be working my way through them, one a day hopefully.
Now I just need to figure out a good order for my yoga, meditation and running! Running first, then the stretches and then clearing the mind?
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
2009
It's a new day in a new year, and the sun is flowing into my living room. Around me what seems to be a constant fog in London these days is lifting and I hear children playing from a nearby schoolyard.
I haven't made any resolutions this year ("it's so passee, don't you think?"), but I feel the newness, the freshness of a new number on the calendar, inspiring thoughts of what might be and what I could do.
As I enter the new year things feel brighter and 'on the up'. I hope to continue the upward curve and shall do whatever I can to ensure so. I think it's time to actually do some of those things I always wished I would do, but never did.
First up: Yoga/meditation.
I've considered this many times, but somehow always backed/chickened out. Who knows - it might be great! As I've been working with other aspects of myself lately, this seems a natural extension in a way. I'll let you know how I get on.
Take care all, and the best wishes for an enlightening and wonderful year ahead.
I haven't made any resolutions this year ("it's so passee, don't you think?"), but I feel the newness, the freshness of a new number on the calendar, inspiring thoughts of what might be and what I could do.
As I enter the new year things feel brighter and 'on the up'. I hope to continue the upward curve and shall do whatever I can to ensure so. I think it's time to actually do some of those things I always wished I would do, but never did.
First up: Yoga/meditation.
I've considered this many times, but somehow always backed/chickened out. Who knows - it might be great! As I've been working with other aspects of myself lately, this seems a natural extension in a way. I'll let you know how I get on.
Take care all, and the best wishes for an enlightening and wonderful year ahead.
Friday, December 19, 2008
Friday, December 12, 2008
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
When dreams are lost
..then what is left?
I've come to realise that much of what ails me stems from broken or lost dreams, hopes and aspirations that weren't to be.. For an idealist and dreamer like me it makes a whole lot of sense that this would hurt, and it truly is painful when some wonderful idea bursts. I've done much thinking over the last months, and some things are starting to shift into place, or at least settle down enough for me to get, if not a hold, then at least a good, long look at them.
We're talking the big ones here. Who I am, what I want, what I can give, what's important, who are important. I have no answers yet, but one tiny step at a time I inch forward.
I've come to realise that much of what ails me stems from broken or lost dreams, hopes and aspirations that weren't to be.. For an idealist and dreamer like me it makes a whole lot of sense that this would hurt, and it truly is painful when some wonderful idea bursts. I've done much thinking over the last months, and some things are starting to shift into place, or at least settle down enough for me to get, if not a hold, then at least a good, long look at them.
We're talking the big ones here. Who I am, what I want, what I can give, what's important, who are important. I have no answers yet, but one tiny step at a time I inch forward.
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
Friday, November 21, 2008
Update
I write this on my new macbook pro, which is absolutely wonderful. I must say, my apple-wares do provide me with more pleasure than my older, worn-out laptop.
I've really made an effort with my running this week, and it just seems to be getting easier and easier for me to run at the speed I want to, and even to go a bit further than I have been doing. Feels great, and I feel confident I'll reach my 90km goal this month. Since Monday I have run 27km already, and I will go out at least once more during the weekend. I'm now consistently running at less than 5 minutes/km, no matter how far I run. I've not run farther than 10km at one time, but I think I'm going to expand on that sometime soon.
Ever since my mom commented on all my running and said that maybe I should be doing something for my upper body as well I have been tormented by the image of myself with bulging calfs and thighs, and with a scrawny set of stick arms. I don't know what to do about it though. I'm considering some yoga perhaps? The stretching might be good for my weary legs too. Any training thoughts and suggestions are welcomed!
I'm going home for Thanksgiving next Wednesday, and am really looking forward to some TLC in the family home, not to mention the amazing food. It's been around half a year since I was home last, and although my brothers have visited, and my parents ditto recently, I just feel a bit out of touch. Particularly with my friends. I find I'm a lot less inclined to email or text when things are not flowing easily, and I haven't exactly been following the textbook example of how-to-do-a-career lately, or been feeling great. Actually I've been rather confused (and continue to be so, albeit to a lesser degree these days).
The London Jazz Festival is on at the mo, and I'm just about to head down to the Southbank Centre to hear one of the free acts there. It sounds really good in the leaflet, so I'm hoping it will be. Tomorrow I'm going to another free gig, which is more of a bossanova and samba sound. I love London!
Take care you guys. Thinking of you all. Err, both.
I've really made an effort with my running this week, and it just seems to be getting easier and easier for me to run at the speed I want to, and even to go a bit further than I have been doing. Feels great, and I feel confident I'll reach my 90km goal this month. Since Monday I have run 27km already, and I will go out at least once more during the weekend. I'm now consistently running at less than 5 minutes/km, no matter how far I run. I've not run farther than 10km at one time, but I think I'm going to expand on that sometime soon.
Ever since my mom commented on all my running and said that maybe I should be doing something for my upper body as well I have been tormented by the image of myself with bulging calfs and thighs, and with a scrawny set of stick arms. I don't know what to do about it though. I'm considering some yoga perhaps? The stretching might be good for my weary legs too. Any training thoughts and suggestions are welcomed!
I'm going home for Thanksgiving next Wednesday, and am really looking forward to some TLC in the family home, not to mention the amazing food. It's been around half a year since I was home last, and although my brothers have visited, and my parents ditto recently, I just feel a bit out of touch. Particularly with my friends. I find I'm a lot less inclined to email or text when things are not flowing easily, and I haven't exactly been following the textbook example of how-to-do-a-career lately, or been feeling great. Actually I've been rather confused (and continue to be so, albeit to a lesser degree these days).
The London Jazz Festival is on at the mo, and I'm just about to head down to the Southbank Centre to hear one of the free acts there. It sounds really good in the leaflet, so I'm hoping it will be. Tomorrow I'm going to another free gig, which is more of a bossanova and samba sound. I love London!
Take care you guys. Thinking of you all. Err, both.
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