District to home

Went to visit my lovely friends in Richmond today. They had a baby last autumn and since moved to the other side of London. I don't see them as often as I used to. My friend's sister was visiting from overseas with her daughter. The two girls are just 6 weeks apart in age. Needless to say, this visit involved a lot of baby focused activities.
I'm on the tube, heading home. I'd forgotten it's Saturday night, damned be my recently incredibly aged ways.

There's a middle aged coupled snogging the tongues out of each others faces, a waft of alcohol breath drifting past now and again, an elderly man sleeping while wearing a remarkable fez, a posh man in a blue kilt holding a balloon and a young woman with sparkles on her heavily made up face, in line with her incredibly orange fake-tan legs, tiny miniskirt and brash red lipstick. I feel like a weird transplant from another world.

Long-distance friends

The weak sun warmed our bodies as we walked and chatted today in East London. The darker bits where the sun didn't reach us felt chilly and were endurable because we knew that in a moment there would be the novel sensation of spring and warmth on our faces again.

The things we talked about were the usual - boys, jobs, flats, sickness and health, family things. It's funny how the topics are the same as ever, yet we all felt a marked "grown-up" feel to our chat. I think we today simply noticed that eternal morphing that takes place as time passes and we change, feel, grow, learn, overcoming challenges and pursuing hopes. How lovely to have friends to share life with!

For some reason or other I was reflecting on the friends I have across the world, and how lucky I am to have strong bonds with such a variety of people, all incredibly talented in each their way, lovable, amazingly warm and caring. Knowing that love and warm thoughts last even when there is no direct contact pleases me to no end.

I miss all of you out there, but I of all understand that where you live simply comes down to how your life plays out. I appreciate the friends who live nearby for the daily love and care, and my far-away friends for the enduring bonds that may change, as we change, but which seem built to last with a bit of care. Thankfully, friendships that emerge as paths cross in a moment of our lives can be as strong as friendships developed over years, even over distance.

I may be terrible at staying in touch, even with people I love dearly, but the moments when people appear in my thoughts at the most random of times remind me that we have something enduring.

I miss you all, but with a smile and a warm thought.

Year's end

Back in London the frost is biting the little skin I allow to be exposed to the air. It's clear. Cold. Sunrise is the most amazing time of day: at around 8am the skies finally relent to the meek sun and pink hues colour the distance while a blood red sun slowly lifts its head. My 9th floor flat does have some benefits that go a (little) way to make up for the current lack of heating.

I'm going home for the holidays on Monday.

This year is ending with what feels like a sense of conclusion. I can sense a lot of reflection being pushed ahead - "I'll think when I've got time", seems to be the way. Knowing myself this will happen in the little thatched house in the bosom of my family between Christmas and New Year's with cold walks in a foggy, barren forest, talking to myself, the horses by the forest ranger's house, the dunes, the gnarly trees in the "troll forest", the sea. And so I keep on going on. Year's end always has this effect on me, but where I last year was confused and worried, I am now ready to take a look back at a year of changes and achievements, pleasures and confusion, worry and hope. You'll all be in those thoughts. My friends drive me forward, reflecting with me on our thoughts, giving me perspectives to consider, hoping with me, and worrying with me.

So, to all - happy holidays. I shall be thinking of you over the next weeks, with a smile on my lips.

M

When serious things come a bit too close

This evening I was returning from a design training in Bristol. We worked with several groups of young people, one of which was a group of 5 boys from a challenged school. They were pretty disruptive to each other and the rest of the groups, but their responsible adult kept stressing that they were very well-behaved for kids from their school. Apparently Bristol's a pretty harsh place in certain areas.

Settling into my seat on the train back to London my eye caught a headline about ..youths.. shooting.. London.. I thought to myself, oh, another one. Then I looked a bit closer and saw Stoke Newington in there. I flipped to page 11 and there was the name of my road in the text, a description of the boys that always hang out around my tower block, and a mention of the community centre that's nearly always closed and looks so sad with it's windows barred for protection.

3 young people have, while I was away, been shot just moments and meters away from my front door. My flatmate was home, and just like everyone else, he assumed the bangs were just the ubiquitous fireworks, and the group of kids just the kids that always hang out a the foot of our building. He didn't realise that 3 14-15 year old kids had been shot by a rival gang.

It's a bit scary, really. I've noticed lately that something's going on with the kids. There's been more of them, more often. And there has been more police presence on the estate, too, in the form of officers slowly patrolling the area, but certainly also in police vans chasing kids on scooters (only to get caught up by the lovely 60s urban design of the estate). This didn't happen when I first moved here a year and a half ago. I stopped a couple of officers on patrol just the other day to ask why there seemed to be more police, and they told me that they were just establishing a presence in the area in response to the young people here, nothing to worry about, ma'am.

Yeah, right.

What kind of places are we living in, where children have access to guns and shoot each other? And why the heck am I living in the middle of it all? And why is nothing being done to the physical, emotional, social and financial deprivation of my estate and of others around the country? Estates that encourage and enable behaviour that is not for the best of the community. Estates that do not inspire people to dream that their lives could be different of the lives of their parents, estates that are not legible, not accessible, not fit for purpose. Estates that have been built in one fell swoop, or estates that have developed piecemeal to a hodgepodge of disconnected spaces, linked by a series of non-places. No, I don't mean the Marc Augé ones; I'm on about the appallingly unpersonal and unwelcoming concrete leftover spaces that incompetent planners and designers failed to address in an appropriate manner. I'm talking about seedy concreted spaces that are fenced in and used for littering, broken curbs, a horrid back alley used for parking and dumping of all sorts of garbage and large household furnisings, narrow and poorly lit alleys and walkways, derelict green spaces, etc etc. Just outside my front door, and so many other people's.

As ever, my dear two readers, I hope you're doing well. Today I'll add in another hope - that you are and will remain far removed from gun-toting, balaclava-wearing kids on bikes.

August

Can't believe that today is August 6th. This year is just cruisin' by, days falling from the calendar like nothing. So much has been going on that I have had little time, let alone mental capacity, for anything 'extra-curricular' such as blogging..

I started getting paid 15 June for 2 days work in the charity I've been volunteering in, but have been unsuccessful in securing a permanent job with them - twice.. It's weird, cause they express that they really like me, but in the end I don't get the jobs. They have been talking about how the jobs were perhaps not thte right thing for me (not challenging enough over time). I can't help but feel that perhaps that should be up to me, but on the other hand, their choices have led me to the position I'm in now, where I just last Wednesday started my new temporary 3 day weekly consultancy position in a charity that works to support and train community groups to engage in their local area. I'm covering both (temporary) positions at the same time over the next month(s?), and am learning to manage to engage my mind where I am and to manage my time well.

I started a healthy living programme early April, and have through that gained a hold on my eating, more or less. I've got aims for my nutritional values, and have lost about 5kg and 8cm off my hips. It takes energy to track all the food I eat, but it's proving really useful to me and I'm learning loads about nutrition along the way. It's funny, 'cause my mom has always had a strong focus on it, especially for us kids, but understanding portion sizes and what's right for ME, now that's another story. Now I aim to snack throughout my working day and to eat sturdy meals that will provide me with slow releasing energy that'll last me till my next meal. I feel like I'm eating all the time (and I am!) but I'm getting so many less calories onboard, and they're of the right kind for me right now. For my snacks I eat fruit, nuts, drink a little smoothie, a couple of healthy biscuits, roasted soy nuts etc.

I went to Denmark for a little week for a bit of a holiday and a wonderful hen night for a close friend.

My 'favourite aunt' who used to visit us when I was a child came for a 4-day visit in London with her two gorgeous kids.

4 friends visited me in London for 4 days.

My friend got married July 12th in a beautiful Jewish ceremony, in a handsome old Hall in the countryside. (All the many preparations paid off, I got the bridal bouquet in the end, haha! Who knows where this will lead!?)

I ran my first half-marathon on July 19th in the time 1:48:29.

Phew..

Now for the next slew of activity.. I'm going to Denmark for another hen night for a friend this weekend, and then again a couple of weeks later for the actual wedding. After that it seems that things will become more stable. Unless I keep it all in overly dynamic motion, that is.

All along, I'm still trying to navigate a fragile mind... However great advances I feel I'm making, I just keep encountering more and more sore spots in there, tender to the touch.. brittle. I tend to leave them alone, to the degree that I don't acknowledge them in my conscious mind, yet they continue to pop up now and again only to be battered aside. I think it's time to start holding them out in front of myself. Examine them. Deal.

2009

It's a new day in a new year, and the sun is flowing into my living room. Around me what seems to be a constant fog in London these days is lifting and I hear children playing from a nearby schoolyard.

I haven't made any resolutions this year ("it's so passee, don't you think?"), but I feel the newness, the freshness of a new number on the calendar, inspiring thoughts of what might be and what I could do.

As I enter the new year things feel brighter and 'on the up'. I hope to continue the upward curve and shall do whatever I can to ensure so. I think it's time to actually do some of those things I always wished I would do, but never did.

First up: Yoga/meditation.
I've considered this many times, but somehow always backed/chickened out. Who knows - it might be great! As I've been working with other aspects of myself lately, this seems a natural extension in a way. I'll let you know how I get on.

Take care all, and the best wishes for an enlightening and wonderful year ahead.

Thank you London

As I have given up my job I have taken up going to lectures. London hosts an abundance of free lectures every evening at universities, and so far I've at LSE heard distinguished lecturers speak on the subjects of climate change, the sociology of space and global health. I've decided to review the lectures I go to - to help me remember (which is pretty much a necessity!) and to spread the word.

David King spoke on the interrelated challenges the world faces. Population increases (the world's population is projected to be 9 billion in 2050, a 50% growth from current levels) will put pressure on energy security and supply, water resources, health and education, conflict and terror, biodiversity, food production and factors influencing climate change. These are all closely related, as for example an increased population will need more food, there will be less land to produce it on, which will lead to conflicts over water/land/food resources.

The US's choice to use food produce for bio-fuel has already had a considerable global effect in that there is less food available for global food aid, i.e. people are starving that were previously recipients of maize and other crops. Another example was the unwillingness to accept GM rice that can withstand being submerged for up to 3 weeks ("normal" rice can only survive about 6-7 days). The slower, traditional gene-enhancing selective purification has taken 18 years, whereas he postulated that GM could have yielded the same result in just 2 years.

His main points seem to be that science should be used intelligently to solve the global problems mentioned above through focused scientific development, and that regulation and government leadership is imperative to ensure development and innovation. Finally, "the most important change needed is a mental and ideological change" regarding the acceptance and use of science to ensure human life and comfort. His focus on scientific advances as the crux of development and decisions is perhaps a bit questionable, but nevertheless an interesting and challenging position.

Next lecture was Robert Sampson from Harvard speaking on the sociology of spaces, and how perceptions on places are shaped by the degree to which places are (un-)kept/disordered (which is a fairly common conception) and also by the influence of demographics and poverty levels. These factors determine not just the current situation, but also the future through a perceived understanding of the place. It may sound banal, but the way a place is perceived has a strong influence on the development of that place over long periods of time. (I can't find my notes from this one, so I might plump this review up when I locate my notebook!)

Tonight I intended to go to a lecture on urban spaces and representation of social issues through the media of film. It was however cancelled, and instead a random selection landed on another lecture, this one on global health inequalities. It was really interesting and with a great lecturer, Michael Marmot, who's at the forefront of his field (he lead the WHO Commission on Social Determinants on Health).

He showed through a variety of research that health inequality (or inequity, as he called it) is closely related to the economical situation of the population being examined. Furthermore, the economical situation is (as you would expect) closely linked to educational achievements. He gave the example of how medical advances had over a number of years saved 180.000 lives in the US. Educational improvements in the same period and context held the potential to save 1.4 mio. lives.

He said that it had been suggested that this cause, improving the living conditions and health of the world's poor, would be heard more if it was possible to quantify the benefits of improving the education/economy/health of vulnerable communities. His response was in that situation to say that social justice, fairness and empowerment of people should be enough of a reason. I really respect him for this, and wish that more people would accept and value human decency to a further extent than what is currently the case. Politicians rarely make any decisions that don't (presumably) lead to improvements to the economy. But is it not more important to consider the quality of life of people, and to rethink our current infatuation with the "development-is-good mantra"?

An investment of 100 billion USD could give 1 billion people living in slums running water, cooking facilities and toilet facilities, improving their quality of life immensely and reducing the health and economic inequalities (by freeing up time spent queuing for water, less people sharing toilets, etc). This is generally considered an unrealistic pipe-dream of well-wishing do-gooders. In contrast 900 billion USD has just been pumped into failing banks.

I find it interesting that all three lectures focused on the way we perceive the world as important to the development. Again, it seems banal, but these guys, who are all important in their field, stress it, so I don't feel too stupid repeating it.
Positive change is not impossible, it's simply a question of will. Idealist as I am (and I'm actually a bit proud of my "slightly" naive outlook on life in this regard) I believe that it is possible for all of us to make a difference. Things only stay the same as long as we stay the same.

I intend to keep it up. In particular I hope to maintain the statistics of hitting a free reception after 2 out of 3 lectures.

"Newsflash: Street sweepers enforcing art censorship on the streets of London"

On my way to work there's a little, black piece of graffiti on a wall, all the way by the ground. It's a little rat with a NY-cap on his head and a ghetto blaster on his shoulder. Mhm. It's a Banksy. He used to be kept company by several other pieces of graffiti, but since the street cleaners (you're not really a street sweeper if you have a powerful water blaster and toxic chemicals with you to clean up) came by a few weeks ago, he's been all on his lonesome. Weird, huh? They work on a tiny alley for 2 days, and coincidentally forget to remove a little black rat that was right next to some of the other stuff they got rid of.

I realise that his "works" are worth massive amounts of money, and that there are several online maps guiding people to see the "works of art", and that he is an enigma on the art scene, but tell me again - what right does mr. Banksy have to draw on someone's building that the next person doesn't? ..'cause I doubt he asked permission in advance, you know. One of the now removed graff's next to the rat made an appropriate comment: "Shit off - I'm proper Banksy!". I doubt he was talking to himself, as he wrote...

I appreciate the focus on street art that Banksy has helped to enforce - I've loved it for years on end. I just think it's questionable that established governing bodies because of someone's commercial success accepts, maintains and protects what is otherwise seen as a blight. It goes against the whole idea of street art - it's temporary, you see it or you don't, and the thoughts and insights that it leads to are as valuable as the original piece itself. I really appreciated the "Shit off" comment! What a great way to start your day. Yes I DO mean it.

fall has come

I was sitting in the park a few days ago when a small leaf landed on my bag. It is now an unavoidable fact: The seasons have turned, and what was a wet, confusing, painful, caring, tough, self-investigating summer is over. It is fall.

The new students have been arriving in the last couple of days, and it seems such a long and such a short while since we ourselves commenced this course. This evening my coursemates will be opening the exhibition of their work of the year. I will not have any work on show. It is odd, to have been a part of this group lke everyone else, and yet not to complete together with them. I chose it, and I accept my decision (and try my best to laud it, actually), but it is not easy at all times. Au contraire.

Tomorrow I have my first "real" job interview. Scary, thrilling and slightly disconcerting. There's a full programme of 2 hours (!) including me holding a 10-minute presentation on my skills, Q&A, showing project work examples and a written test. I think that it's really a lot! I just hope I get to walk out of that room with a good feeling's all.

Less than 45 minutes to the exhibition. Judging by how jittery I feel, they must be nervous wrecks.

Hopefully the new season will not just be an end to all that is known, but rather an opportunity to begin afresh and anew.

Rain also has its charms.

finally - a flat

Today I paid the deposit needed to secure my new residence in what's apparently a delightful place: Stoke Newington. I've only ever heard nice things about it, although some people have added a wry "..which the bourgeois upper-middle class people like" to the statement that there's a lovely organic farmer's market just around the corner. So far, I've seen tons of Turkish shops of all sorts (kiosks, fruits&vegs, cafées Turkish style, pizza places and kebab shops etc..). It's lively, which is nice.

My road is a nice residential road, not unlike the one I've lived on this last year. Ok, not AS nice, but it's the same lovely terraced houses, only with a higher percentage of unkempt and/or cemented front "gardens". Still, it has a nice feel to it, and I'm sure that I'll feel just fine coming home from baskebtall at night. The room is in a flat shared with one other, a Portuguese woman. It's about 3,5 squared, so there should be enough space for all my gear. We'll see.. I have, very slowly, begun thinking of and actually getting round to packing up my stuff. I have the room from tomorrow, so I can go there and get used to it, bringing some stuff there. I don't know if I'll fit all my things there, but, just for the record - YOU (as in: all my darling friends and family members contemplating visiting me!) are more than welcome to come and visit me, should you ever come to London! :.)

I'll throw on some pics when I've gone on recon one of these days.

london

a bustling dream, aspirations and disillusions, hopes and intimacy, feelings and detachedness. making it and making do, creating the real life, just surviving. london's solitude and cosyness, lonesomeness, fear, feeling content, yet wondering what might pop up around the corner - actually anticipating this disruption...

it's being part of an unruly disorganised group, it's being truly on your own. it's a dream come true coupled with feeling all lost. i love london.

this evening i hung out with two couples (one very dear, loved and well-known to me) who are both getting married within the next while. it's not really fair to call them just "couples", since they are four very sincere, caring and diverse people; they are not just part of a "thing". i was alright with being single in this situation, even though the one girl at one point chatted about me being alone and us not "being six at the table", eyeballing the empty chair next to me. No harm done. Not even when they started talking about what they were each doing for their honeymoon, what sort of dresses it would be acceptable to wear at the wedding... i mean, i understand all these concerns. what got me down was walking home alone. i got on the bus and all around me were more or less drunk people, either in couples or with that restlessly wandering eye (which god forbid i have, yet i fear i might), indicating a person in search of someone. and not just anyone, rather that someone needed for intimacy, be it corporeal or emotional.

for some reason, the pattern created by the light of a lamp post filtering through the crown of a tree, the silent hush of the residential streets, the smell of neatly planted flowers in a bourgois neighborhood... it all makes me feel all single and alone. as in, just me, all alone, no one else. it's ok, it's good, it's the way i want it. i like it. but it's tough, not having that someone at home, waiting, anticipating your return. for now the freedom of being just me makes up for that. even though i feel alone, walking home from a night out.

more carnival!

(again, for more pics, please click here!)

So, yeah, I went again, this time accompanied by a friend, which was great! Someone to marvel with about all the crazy stuff going on! There were definately more people today. We got caught in several backed up patches, but I didn't find it too much. Here's how many people were there:

I could have stayed there several hours longer, dancing and taking it all in. Alas, another viewing (of a flat I don't want, unfortunately) was scheduled, so I had to get my ass to East London, as I am still working on this project. Tomorrow I don't think I'll get to see more flats, since my psycho-"freelancing" (!) is up to 3 sessions tomorrow, and I am going to the movies. But Wednesday and Thursday I already have a few viewings lined up. Hopefully I wil come across that *perfect* room and actually be offered it. They offered me one of the ones today, however it was really smal, 2x3 m. Nice people, great living room etc, but I'm just wondering if it might get a tad claustrophobic in that sort of a cubicle...

Sambaaaa!

(click here for more pics)

Pumping samba rhythms, all smiles, red stripe Jamaican lager, Caribbean food, coconuts, red-yellow-green, dancing kids, Caribbean flags and whistles, feathers, sequins, laughter, reggae, dancing, movement, flirting, beer stalls, corn on the cob, kissing, sleeping tiger in a buggy, shaking body parts, djs, sound systems, blaring hiphop, breakdance, super heroes on scene, beautiful dancing women...

And tomorrow's supposed to be THE day to go :.) We'll see!

flat hunting

I can't quite make up my mind who is in the stronger position: the flat hunter or the flat stayers.

I mean. The flat stayers want to make sure that the person moving in is nice, tidy, friendly and perhaps even up for socialising a bit. They want to make sure not to get any psychopaths in the door, and that the person they're offering to enter their flat is not going to nick stuff (foods or cash or jewellery or shampoo or..). And of course, that they'll pay rent on time.

Most of this stuff is pertinent both ways, but for the flat hunter there are more things to consider: for example whether the group of people in the flat are willing to open their potentially closed circle of flat mates to the newcomer, how the dynamics of the house is, and whether there are any skeletons in the closet, such as vermin, a s*** landlord or the like.

I've seen 8 flats now, each with pros and cons. One was an amazingly roomy flat, the room with a fantastic view from the 15th floor and with newly redone interior, but in a slightly nasty council estate. Another was a cheap room, but small and with young students (we're talking 20, 20 and 24!).. And yet another was a large, cheap room, with a garden, two showers and separate toilet, but in a, uhm.., slightly dilapidated condition.

So, what's the most important?
The size of the room (I want to be able to have firends over)
Whether there's a living room or not?
Are the people living there friend potential?
The total cost...?

I've been offered 3 or so of the ones I've seen (pretty good, I'd say, even the students wanted me!), and I'm not sure whether to take the more expensive one, which is in really good condition and where the people have friend potential, or the cheaper (by 100£/month), larger room, where I can't really have my bike and the people aren't as obviously great.. I think I'll chose one tomorrow.

Status update

So. My landlords have let my flat, meaning that I really need to start looking for something now. Not just browsing and thinking about it.. It's just difficult, you know.

Do I want to have my own studio flat or share? And in that case, how many do I want to share with? The area is pretty much sorted, I want to stay around here.. I've got my basketball 3+ times a week, and the potential of getting a job in the area around Old Street/Liverpool Street Station is good. But I could move a bit in any direction from here, Dalston, Newington, Angel, Old Street..

Have been looking for jobs too, lately, since I decided to postpone my urban design report a while. It's a bit of a challenge to find jobs in a sector that I'm not sure what is ;.) I would prefer to not do straight-up urban design right now, and am trying to find some sort of research job where I might be able to use my design knowledge too. So far I have found one job that looks really good, but that was just lucky. Have spent the last two days looking for more like it, but nothing has come up so far! So I guess I need to continue re-working my CV and writing a covering letter for this one job that I have found.

london by night

a slightly fuzzy London, seen from waterloo bridge the other night.

love undying

After a delayed plane trip due to heightened security because of the latest terror occurrences in the UK, I arrived to a wet and, to put it mildly, depressing London. The uncertainties awaiting me here had given me a rather uneasy feeling the last days before coming back - not knowing if he would be in the flat or would have found another place to live was disconcerting. I am not unaccustomed to, nor do I dislike, travelling alone, but this trip certainly had another emotional content than that of looking forward to coming home to someone.

As I made my way down my road, the ginger colored cat that sometimes runs away frightfully and other times is extremely cuddly came up to me, purring and soft in contrast to the dark of the rainy night. I stroked it for a short while, taking in the soft touch and ignorant caress of an animal, before continuing home along the glistening leaves and shiny dimness of the asphalt. I breathed in heavily in the damp night before unlocking the front door, and entered the hallway with a strange feeling of expectation and disappointment. The door to the flat was locked (of course, what did you expect?), and as I walked into the dark living room, the contours of piled up boxes on the couch appeared in a room devoid of light.

He has left.

I didn't know whether to feel relieved or tragically sad, and as the sweet smell of his perfume lingered in the room, I knew there was more. A letter. The letter. Spelling out all the feelings of a love undying, and leaving me feeling horrendously.

I wonder sometimes if I am a bad person. If I should have been able to sense these feelings earlier, if I have acted in an unfair way, if I have been selfish and self-destructing in my choice. I am hurting myself, and I know that I am hurting a person, who means so much to me. Is that not a bad thing to do?

I need to believe that this is the right thing to do. It is simply scary how much it hurts, even if it is the right thing. I didn't think 'right things' could hurt this much, but maybe in the end, it is doing the right things that hurts the most. I guess that if I accept this, then maybe I can also learn to accept the random caress of a ginger cat as a welcome home.

london life?

london seems such a scary place right now.

everything i can think of there needs my dealing with, and honestly i don't really feel like it. finishing my master's degree is way up there on the list of things i'd prefer to do really soon. however, i'd enjoy feeling some sort of motivation in that field. i can't get fired about it right now, and everybody keeps repeating the mantra of "it takes time/it will take time/time will heal all", and honestly - that's all good and well and i do believe in it. i just don't feel that i have the time! but. what's the rush? it's not like a have a plan for my future (maybe i should have) or that i know exactly what i want to do (sure would be nice though..). i'm totally going with the flow these days, bobbing about in a sea of emotions and feelings of confusions, aspirations, expectations, desires... taking my time.

i'll be going back to london in a couple of days, back to face the music. maybe it's good, maybe i'm just pushing things ahead of me, but on the other hand, then what's up with the "time"-mantra? my big dilemma right now is whether to pull myself together or to take an even longer time-out. i would just prefer that when i do pull myself together, it'll be to start on something i really want to do, not just to finish my degree, as in getting it over with.

UD overdose?

Even though I seriously (err, relatively seriously) considered changing my career into that of a house wife the day before the crit, a few days of relaxing can do a lot for a struggling mind.

It was quite inspiring to see the other students' work during the two crit-days, a lot of very different ground is being covered. However, there is a strong tendency towards landscape/ecological systems/land tracings etc. My project is also in this field, dealing with the meeting of town and countryside in all kinds of ways. The project seeks to create a new form of city that is based on an analytical and relational reading and interpretation of landscape and town. Existing and desired building blocks of nature (hedgerows, watercourses, path systems, enclaves of plants) and of town (a variety of building typologies, programmes) are used to create an overlay that generates the new development. This is guided by basic principles of sustainability, connectivity, an inter-relational evolution between the town and the countryside. Really quite interesting. Unfortunately, due to time issues, we didn't manage to conclude the process, which was and is still very frustrating... Now that the crit's over, it's time to move on to the portfolio hand-in next Friday.. A week after that, the submission of a 6000 word essay, and a week later another crit. This time we're to propose the subject of our thesis project and report... Another 3 busy weeks ahead.

Perhaps I'll have a relapse to my desire to become a house wife during that period.

4 days and 5 nights to go...

Crit time is looming on the (unfortunately) not to distant sky.. My group-mate finally managed to get her visa renewed and has returned to London. Now we're trying to finish up 2 term's worth of thoughtwork, with only a few days to go. My motivation can be found only be performing a thorough search (that includes staring at my agenda in disbelief), and even then tends to stray relentlessly.