I feel like I'm being jostled around, a little boat on an unruly sea; weathering the storm, but taking in water. I'm lonely in here. Working as hard as I can, but it never really stacks up. What happened to those quick wins that give encouragement and perspective on a long hard slog? What happened to sharing those passions with someone else? What happened to daring to give a bit of your vulnerable self to someone else?
What happened to me?
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2 comments:
Age is what happened to you. Getting old doesn't mean shit next to losing your youth. You can live with age, easily, but the vitality of youth is almost always irreplacable.
Essentially, you leave the age of possibility and enter the age of necessity.
Also you live in London... The irony is, the more people about you, the lonelier ones life tends to get (Don't move to Tokyo).
Cheer up. Your still interesting, witty and beautiful. All you really need to do is figure out how to get up out of that rut your lying in.
Thanks Moif. I'll try to steer clear of Tokyo ;.)
This is me in a busy period that brought out darker aspects with a side serving of clarity. It's a pretty interesting, if terrifying, feeling to see how I'm getting to know myself better through more responsibilities and 'serious' choices and dilemmas. "The age of necessity" - interesting way of looking at it. I don't think I've left my idea of being in the age of possibility yet...
I think my rut will dissipate when my work load lessens - generally I'm a pretty positive person!
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