When was the last time you pampered yourself?

The other day, someone I know only remotely asked me a question. He wasn’t being rude, but my first reaction was to think so. But then I thought – it could be a very caring thing to say: “When was the last time you pampered yourself?”

Honestly I don’t remember. I have recently had a (long overdue) haircut, and a month and a half ago I used nail polish a couple of times, ‘incidentally’ coinciding with me starting my new job. I use makeup every day, and try to make good food and see friends at least once a week.

But that’s not pampering, now is it.

Perhaps this person unknowingly hit my current issues spot on; perhaps they are out there for all to see, standing out like a sore thumb. Either way, it is slightly disconcerting.

And even worse is the fact that I know it, yet am unable to change my ways. One of the most important things I have learned over the last year or so is that I need to allocate time for me. I find it so hard to say no to seeing friends or doing something cool or interesting and instead stay at home and do nothing.. well, not really nothing… laundry, reading, drawing, thesis work, cleaning.. doing nothing too, it has to be there, just lying down and thinking, resting, allowing my mind to fall to ease. This is what I need. Very weird. Or not. Ah, now I’m confusing myself.

So. Is taking time for myself equal to pampering me? Or are my life priorities totally screwed up? Maybe I need to REALLY pamper me, go to a spa, indulge in a whole weekend of myself, resisting the temptation to do stuff with others. Why do I find this so difficult?