Hibernation

Snow is falling over London town tonight. I didn't believe it at first; it was raining heavily as I worked my way home. Now, large snow flakes drop silently to the ground (bar one, which landed on my hand and was imbibed), and what seems a grey mass obscures my view. Surprising as it is, it somehow seems appropriate, having just turned back the clocks in accordance with the cultural construct of "daylight savings".

It suits my mindset fairly well. I think it's time to pull the covers over my head for some numbing sleep. Perhaps a full 6 months or so?

Hold fast to dreams,
For if dreams die,
Life is a broken-winged bird
That cannot fly.

Hold fast to dreams.
For if dreams go,
Life is a barren field
Covered with snow.

Langston Hughes

Americans in the world

As a Dane growing up primarily in Denmark who also holds American citizenship I have always been inundated with comments and opinions on "how/what/who Americans are". When I was a kid I had to tell other kids from my class that what they saw in 90210, Saved by the Bell and all those other television series was not directly transferable to understanding who Americans are, what they stand for or how they live.

I grew up in a liberal, tolerant and understanding family. The values my family and I myself hold dear are equality in opportunities, obligations and rights for all, fairness, care for society's vulnerable and above all tolerance of people with different opinions, faith, nationality. Tolerance does not incur acceptance of wild postulates, it means accepting people's right to hold those opinions. If I disagree, however, with someone holding a different opinion to myself, I will question them and probe their claim. Not in a run to discredit them but to understand their position, and to see how they build their case and why it falls out differently to my understanding of the issue. I will most definitely offer my view on the case and hope to develop both parties' understanding. Dialogue is the way to go. And if a common understanding can't be reached, then let's at least agree to disagree on good terms.

You see, I prefer discussion and searching for an understanding of the truth over a claim deemed to be infallible, the ultimate truth. The truth is, I think, an ever evolving instance of understanding aspects of the issue at hand and linking and analysing them.

You cannot generalise a population of 300 million into a single category. Or into two, or five or ten. I understand the simplification processes that we all use to get a handle on the world, but as an American, I can't accept people calling us racists, haters, or egocentrics, the world's police, etc. And ton another note, I can't accept people wanting to kill Danish people for the execution of acts allowed under Danish law within Danish territory, but that is indeed another story.

I certainly do not agree with the policies that have flowed from the White House through the last 8 years, and I have in fact at times been embarrassed to admit that I am American. But does that not go to show you that there are great differences, levels of acceptance and tolerance within a group of people whom a large amount of the world holds little more than contempt for? My whole family is staunchly Democratic (both Danish and American sides), and I do think that one of my cousins is on the way to becoming a politician (he doesn't know this yet, shh!).

What makes this whole situation even more painful is that people making the most ruthless and hurtful claims are often the least educated, or ones that hold knowledge stemming from a singular base. How will you ever understand the values of a Democrat if you don't listen and take in what's being said? How will the Western world ever understand the areas of different ideologies if they don't engage in a real and tolerant conversation with them? The same goes for the apparent deafness created by hatred some Muslims and Muslim countries hold against America and other Christian nations. (Let me just interject the facts that I am not at all religious, and that I have friends of a variety of faiths, including Muslims).

When I was a kid and my classmates made claims to "understanding" that Americans are all airheads like Donna and Kelly from Beverly Hills 90210, or have dysfunctional family relations like in Married with Children, I tried to inform them that not all Americans are like that.

As an adult I feel the need to make this same claim once more, but in a much more serious situation and to a different audience. Not all people are like the low-educated, lowest common denominator, biased, racist and obviously ignorant qualities being exhibited at Republican voter rallies, volunteer meetings and on Republican blogs and websites.

Not all Americans feel the need to re-ignite a racist and religion-based war on "people who are different to us". So, as a an American, allow me to apologise for the racist insinuations made by the would-be-VP in the horrible case that Mr. McCain should win the current election. And bear with people voting for this pair. Most have a low degree of education, very little understanding of the way the world works and think that only their own happiness and success is important.

Although I am American, I have never before voted in an American election, even though I disagree strongly with Mr. Bush and his advisers and one might say that I should have done so before. But now's the time to send a signal to America and to the World that a tolerant, educated and intelligent man who deals in facts instead of playing on emotions of fear should take his rightful place in the White House. The fact that he is fairly young for a politician in his position, a Democrat, and that he is of mixed race just makes my choice even easier.

getting all worked up...

and along comes this extremely competent word smith and sums up all that I feel on the subject: Mrs. Palin.

So. 28.

I apologise in advance for the soggyness of this post; however most of you will know that this is what happens to me when left to my own devices. I turn pensive and grateful. And loud about it.

Long gone are the days were I would collect chestnuts in the large pleasure grounds north of Copenhagen with my childhood friend and build a city of chestnuts and matchsticks and animals to roam the streets.
Gone are the painful teenage years where fitting in and achievement seemed so important and was measured primarily in the number of guys you snogged.

And here I am in a (no longer so foreign) country, jobless (of my own accord, granted), and with a fairly uncertain future. And 28.

It's been a bumpy ride so far, with ups and downs, and there are few things I would have been without. One thing I have learned though, is to appreciate the nearness and caring of valued friends (and family members, who in effect are also friends), even when we are not physically near. I am lucky to have many people in my life who care and worry about me when I'm down, and who celebrate with me when things go well.

And for that I am thankful.

M

General downturn

As is dreadfully obvious from the tracker to the right (-->) I haven't been running lately. Actually for two whole weeks my running shoes have been resting further and further down in the pile of shoes by the door. I went for a little one today, after having been ill and staying home from work thursday afternoon and friday, sort of in defiance and to prove to myself that the general feeling of being slightly ill, and rather tired had been cured by resting for a couple of days. Not the case. I felt dizzy and ill after 2.4 km and had to rest for 15 minutes to get better again. This is rubbish, and I'm sick and tired of feeling sick and tired.. Go figure.

I have been pushing myself pretty hard lately, I know, but I am adamant that my illness is not only due to this, I really feel it's a sickness. It's frustrating to feel sick and I really hope it goes away soon. I'm going to work tomorrow because I don't feel I can stay home with these mild symptoms any more. Silly? Proud? I just have so much to do at work and I want to finish the work I've commenced properly. I'm taking it slow though.

Two more weeks, that's ten days and counting.

Going batty, uh.. I mean dotty!

So. Here's a little taste of what I'm up to these days:



Presentation's tomorrow and I remarkably feel ok. I have LOADS to do still tonight, but I'm just working away. It makes such a big difference to be doing things for yourself not for some boss you don't really... well... like.

Post no. 102

So, I've been looking forward to my post number 100, but in the current frenzy of uni work apparently totally missed it a couple of days back. So here's me at work, in front of massive windows straight onto the street and loads of passersby eating a bagel with humous in celebration.

I have now reached the point where I can't NOT do anything anymore. I HAVE to, and hence, I am producing away. Never mind that I don't get the point of all of it, nor that I haven't prepared my presentation properly, I need material to pin up! At least if I do that they can't say I haven't done s***. I've acquired a key and can stay as long as I want. Which means I'll stay long. I think I'll even stay over on Thursday - there's a shower in the basement, so, hey! Oh yeah, presentation day is now Friday not Thursday. Man I can't wait for the weekend!

As you can see I have upped my running goal for September, ambitiously. As I right now have absolutely no life, I will already at the end of this week be massively behind. Bummer. I think I'll go out on Saturday after a good long night's sleep Friday.

Take care my two blog readers, and I hope to have the chance to see you each some time in the not to far off future, although, given a number of circumstances, it might be a while.

(Anyone else reading this blog than my nimble and graphically talented and friend in Denmark and my longlost sweet Asian friend in the far east - feel free to say hi and I'll include you in any future direct addresses!)

Study madness

So, I've a big presentation on Thursday and I'm getting a bit upset. It's hard to work full time and to study evenings, as I've been telling anyone who cares to know.. I'm no feeling the pinch and project a massive lack of sleep this week.

I've had a pain in my foot (a colleague meant to know that it's a strain caused by overworking it..), and have been laying low on the running and taking anti-inflammatory medicines to keep the pain down. It appears to have worked, and I on the last day of the month completed my 60km goal! Yay! Very satisfactory! My goal for September is 70km, so that should be doable if my foot acts as it should.

And now, back to being worried about uni.

Back into it

Running update:

After a week of feeling a bit wobbly, I'm back! No more tired muscles and nausea. I've run a 12 km total for today and yesterday - yay!

Today I went 7km, the farthest I have registered yet, although I think my trip to Finsbury Park last week was longer, it just didn't register properly with my new-found love, the nike+ gear. Anyway, it's an improvement, and I'm feeling more and more confident that my goal of 60km for August is doable (you can follow my progress in the little widget I've added on this page)!

It's actually a real satisfaction to have begun doing exercise again, and particularly the fact that this is a solo venture, it's something I am doing solely because I want to. Basketball is so easy to do sometimes, there are people waiting for me, I've made a commitment, it's what I've always done, etc. With this running deal, it's all about me and what I want to achieve, in terms of individual workouts and longer term goals such as getting back into a decent shape. Also trying to keep up in the challenges with other runners on the nike+ website is pretty 'inspiring', but that's another story :.)

Running was always such a chore when basketball was at its height, running around the 'lakes' in Copenhagen in rain and wind before a court training. I loathed it. Which makes it ever more surprising to actually be looking forward to going running now.

weather report

London is hot and oppressive. Humidity levels soaring and a pressure building behind my forehead as I keep pushing on.

This evening was sticky, heavy and sad. Unrelenting. The solitude of a 9th floor dwelling. Unusually, no voices on the street, just a darkening view of the city.

Unexpected bursts of light strike over the London skyline lit on an indigo sky from my window: Quick flashes of lightening, and within minutes the sky is the greyest of grey, thunder rumbling miles away, rolling through tunnels of skyscrapers, through the streets. Sharp lights getting more and more frequent on the back of that cover of pent-up magnetic power we have suffered these past days. The sky rips into milliseconds of white madness.



But where is the rain? Why do I still see all the iconic buildings so clearly, lit in their evening gowns? Where's the promised relief? I wait, not impatiently.

I fell the wind picking up, but no heavy clouds any where near. It would seem there's going to be no crescendo in North London tonight; the easterners are taking the brunt and the animation.

Lights flare, ever further east. The City of London is back to its old usual self; well known buildings lit in the now post-dusk sky, winking incessantly at me with a red eye.

run run run

I've started running, and what a hoot to be able to see your progress graphically.. A happy conjuncture of dissertation stress, a newly acquired gadget and having sat enough on my bum lately was "all" it took.

I'm happy to report that I've done 8,5km over the last couple of days as the beginning of a training programme I've set up. I'll let you know how I get on with it. So far It's been good, although I was very tired on the second to last km today. I always perk up in the end. Tomorrow I don't have a run, thank god, but I then on Saturday have a 6km trip coming up. Might take in Finsbury Park again; it was a good and exhausting trip up there last week.

US elections

Check out this hilarious video

And now this?!

Numbness is retreating in the summer sun.

What will be the end of it?

I guess it will end.

And all this before it even started.

Oh - and by the way..

I've quit.