Monday, May 11, 2009

trial and error

"To avoid situations in which you might make mistakes may be the biggest mistake of all."
- Peter McWilliams

Although a rudimentary google search reveals that the quote above is by what seems to be a relatively 'low-end' self-help guru this may be one of the biggest truths that I ought to listen to these days. For the sake of the argument, let's just disregard this quote in relation to my weakening resolve to my current weight-adjustment actions and think about it in a bigger perspective.

As my vertically challenged friend pointed out to me - does this mean that one should not avoid situations where knows that mistakes will be made? Cue the 'might' in the quote. It indicates an uncertainty about the future. It indicates avoiding risk taking, avoiding trying things out, avoidance of living life. It's so banal when I write it like that, but, at least to me, it holds a pretty deep truth. I do avoid things that are scary to me, situations where I feel that I cannot predict what will happen. And this despite the fact that I obviously can absolutely never predict what will happen. We live in a world where most of the things that happen are beyond our control. We naturally have a fairly great impact on our existence, but we are all at the mercy of each other, and the place we hold is subject to the actions of others and the effects these actions have on ourselves and our reactions to these actions. The free flow into which we plunge ourselves every day drifts along, and we can labor to make a mark or we can flow, following the patterned path laid out for us.

Making a mark requires risk taking, this much I have learned.

Friday, May 08, 2009

How's that for a thought?

"Worry is the darkroom in which negatives are developed."

Enough of that already. On to brighter things. Opportunities are developing, and although they are exciting and fascinating, I still worry whether they are achievable, whether I dare pursue them, if it's for me..

Just went for a run this morning - feels good to get my act together. Just 4k, but that's ok. I'll go for a longer one (or two) over the weekend. Should stop being annoyed at my self for not going out running.

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Musings

When things start coming together and it seems the clouds are parting

Why do I fear that the breeze that carries me along gently now

Will turn into a storm, weighing me down, again, so heavily?

___


A drink on a hilltop, and everything's changed in an afternoon. We laughed for hours, before turning serious. Slightly intoxicated by the wine, and even more so by a tickling sensation of someone who understands. Open minds are allowed, and seem to feed on the skyline on the horizon, and a girl on a tightrope laughs as she aims for the tree at the end of the line.